Archive for August, 2009

  • Back to School…

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    Jesus, I am going back to school in 2 days. Back to the dark world of autism. Jesus, let me be a light to shine into that dark and sometimes ugly world. You are the light of the world, even in the hardest places, like with the autistic kids and other special ed kids at school.

    I just read a kids book about autism, and in the book, a kid whose brother has autism writes “I think having autism is like being in a dark room and the light never turns on.” Interesting analogy. Autism is like having the lights turned out so you can’t quite function normally, you’d be pretty scared, too.

    Maybe I can help turn the light on in this world of autism. Even if just for one kid. Here Jesus, here’s my life, here’s my week, the rest of the year, use it to help this one kid walk into Your light and out of the darkness of autism.

  • 23 Things

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    For my 23rd birthday, here are 23 things that have really impacted my last year, my 22nd year. Some of these things are small, but some have completely changed my life for the rest of my life:
    1. Africa
    2. God wrecking me in Africa
    3. God healing me in Africa
    4. God putting His heart for Africa in me- broken on the floor weeping for the children
    5. God putting His heart for Brasil in me, while in Brasil- seeing Jesus’ eyes rather than burn with fire, burn with the flag of Brasil in them
    6. Seeing my “baby” who I nannied for be ok enough to go to school
    7. Enduring daily, yet loving daily the autistic kid I work with
    8. Grace coming as a scared little 7 year old kid holding my hand, teaching me that this was the job I was to have
    9. God telling me to go to Rio
    10. Going to Rio and being So at Home there
    11. Getting a map for my life (ok, sounds weird, I know… but i’ve got one)
    12. Finding friends with the same heart as I do, scattered all over the world, sharing life and sharing how we’re gonna change the world and bring the Kingdom here on earth
    13. Praying for a deaf girl in Moz, her not getting healed, and trying to reconcile that to God… continuing to pray for her
    14. Praying for another deaf girl in Moz, and seeing her get healed quickly, and trying to reconcile that to God with the first deaf girl I prayed for… continuing to pray for her, too
    15. Meeting this little stinker of a kid at Iris and falling in love with a 3-year-old who I’d adopt in a heartbeat, but can’t because of Mozy laws
    16. Learning more grace to deal with my family at home… still learning, but that’s been huge this past year
    17. God literally being a consuming fire to burn up everything that was getting in His way in Moz and shortly after, so He could put in my life the things He says are best
    18. Going 10 days with only speaking Portuguese (turning point in my language ability)
    19. Learning to Be instead of Do in Brasil
    20. Letting God make my plans in Brasil… and really being Totally taken care of the entire time, never lacking, never wanting, always loved and cared for
    21. Meeting and being a part of an awesome, down-to-earth prayer group locally
    22. Encountering God’s presence various times at prayer group (signs that revival is coming to America)
    23. Meeting someone who might possibly want to hang around for the rest of my life

  • I don't even have a clue…

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    “I don’t even have a clue… I don’t know all the answers… I don’t even know a few” -Jason Upton

    I love to find things where people are actually being honest with God and themselves. As I have been presented with so many problems- sickness, poverty, sexual abuse, sin in general- during my travels through Brasil, I have come to the deep and profound conclusion that I have no answers.

    I have no answers for the girls who prostitute themselves when they are 10 years old because they have no other way to make money. I have no answers for the mute child who, when prayed for, does not begin to speak. I have no answers for the young girl in the church who just gave up her virginity to a boy she doesn’t even really like. I have no answers for the hundreds of people who expect one from me.

    The only thing I know is this: I know the One who has the answers. I don’t have the answers, but I can point the people I meet to Him.

    There is some comfort in knowing that I don’t have to have all the answers. There is freedom in not having to respond with in-depth theological answers as to why people suffer, as to why these 3 little girls have both parents in jail, as to why a family with 8 kids is left with no food when their neighbors have plenty.

    The only answer I have sometimes is a tear, a hug, to bring a basket of food, to give some clothes. Sometimes my only answer is to listen to the problems and love them.

    All my theories on poverty and the whys of it and how to fix it which I gained in college have become nothing when put up to the test of reality. I looked over my “curriculum” on how to teach kids about their rights which I made in college. It didn’t stand up to the test of reality. You can’t just tell kids who are being sexually abused to go tell their teacher here. Maybe you can in the US, but Brasil is a different reality. You can’t just tell a kid to stay in school, its fun to learn, they won’t listen, they just want to go out and have fun.

    This is my last full day here in Brasil. I return home with fewer answers than I left home with. But I have One answer. I also have a map. I have a sort of plan, but still, it is one filled with gaps and holes. Maybe it will sort itself out on its own, or maybe it won’t.

    Maybe in the next few weeks I will have more answers. Or maybe I won’t. I am tired of living up to expectations of people to have all the answers. I don’t have them, but I can certainly listen to you, and hear about all the problems in the world. I can certainly pray with you and for you, and, chances are, if you are reading this, then I know you, and I already do pray for you.

    So I return from this trip changed, impacted, in a new reality than before. I return with fewer answers, but with a plan, a direction, a map, and people who share my vision and who might want to be a part of this wonderful journey.

  • Matthew 9:37- Brasil

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    Matthew 9:37
    The Harvest is plenty, but the workers are few.

    Brasil is a country ripe for a great harvest of souls. People long for meaning and search it out their entire lives. Rather than turning to the churches, people turn to the streets, to alcohol, drugs, prostitution and partying. If only these people knew they would be welcomed with open arms inside the church.

    There are many unfortunate things about churches in Brasil. Learning these faults and yet learning how to still love a very broken church has been a challenge. Some churches are very religious- women can only ever wear skirts below the knees, women can’t cut their hair, shave, use jewlery or makeup. These churches have a hard time welcoming in people accustomed to the more carnival-esque style of life in Brasil. Other churches put such an emphasis on money and prosperity that you have to pay to recieve prayer there. Many of those inside the church stay inside their churches and plant other churches with their own name on them right alongside other churches of different denominations and names.

    Brasil does not need more churches. It needs people going out into the streets to find the prostitutes and show them love, to find the drug traffickers and love them out of this lucrative business. There is much need in Brasil, but the workers who actually go out to the streets are so very few.

    This trip I have been mainly building relationships with people inside the churches, encouraging them to step outside their churches. Me and a couple of other crazy Americans, without knowing each other beforehand, took this summer to travel around Brasil, helping at some projects, building relationships with people, finding out where the greatest needs are, and calling out this generation of young Christians in Brasil to step out into their God-given destinies. The harvest here in Brasil will not be collected by foreigners, it will be harvested by Brasilians, by the kids who are now teenagers.

    Here in Rio de Janeiro, there is much need, but no one to do the work. I was supposed to be helping at a project in a large favela (slum) where a lady had been working with child prostitutes. The lady had wonderful favor with the girls who had rejected all other pastors. However, the project has been shut down because the lady who was running it is sick and there was no one else to take her place.

    Instead, right now I’m getting to know the projects and vision of a mid-sized church here in Rio. I’m staying with the pastor’s family and getting to hear all their hopes and dreams for expanding ministries in the community here.

    Right now, they have a house for women to come and recieve counseling, take art and pilates classes, and recieve beauty treatments. Many women come every day seeking help. They also are starting a project for the youth in the community. They have Christian Capoeira lessons right now, but are planning on also having Christian Jiu-jitsu, dance, and other vocational programs. Next year, they are planning to open up a daycare center, and some time in the future, they plan to open a sort of shelter for kids and youth to go for a few days or weeks to be safe from problems at home, or to get off the street, until a more permanent shelter is found for them.

    The thing that is needed here is workers! I believe I will come back here for a longer time at some point, but for now, I am planning on returning to Curitiba in January to stay there and work there for a time.

    I return to the US this weekend. Pray for safe travels! Thank you so much for all your support and prayers! You have no idea how much it means to recieve emails from you guys!

    Deus abençoa
    -Emily Bair

  • Sepetiba- College theory in reality

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    I can’t just shove this down and not think about the reality of it.

    I wrote so many papers in college about child prostitution and the laws that stop it, and how to combat it, but when I was confronted with the reality of it yesterday, I was helpless to do anything.

    I visited a large favela near Rio yesterday. We only drove around in the car because the project that was working with kids there is stopped because the lady who ran it is chronically ill.

    Sepetiba is not your normal Rio slum. It was made in 1992 by the government to clean up the city before the big conference on the environment. The government took people off the streets and out from shacks under the bridges and aqueducts, built tiny houses for them, and put them 100km outside the city center.

    That is Sepetiba.

    Right next to Barra da Tijuca, a really rich bairro that has beautiful beaches.

    What happens when you put street people into houses next to people with lots of money? What happens when you do this far outside the city where there are no jobs, only a few schools, and no options for the former street people?

    What will be the one way that these people can make money?

    For the girls and women, prostitution. It is the only option that they have to make money.

    As we were driving through, I could see the girls, about 4pm, waiting on the curbs for people to come and buy them. The girls looked at our car with anticipation, wanting people to come and pay money to have sex with them. The mothers there sell their daughters, as young as 9 or 10 years old, for R$10, or about US$5. $5 for a little girl’s innocence!!!

    And I could do nothing! The laws that Brasil has against this sort of thing are naught in Sepetiba. There aren’t other options. If the kids went through a job training program, they still wouldn’t be able to work until they were 16. If they had an after school program, that wouldn’t get them off the streets at night. The churches there don’t care or do anything. The kids hate the pastors and spit at pastors and missionaries. Its not an easy place. But I can’t just shove it back down and not deal with it.

    I have so much theory on what to do about child prostitution, I know so much of the laws, but when push comes to shove, there are no easy solutions here. There are no easy solutions for Sepetiba.

    Maybe I will go back one day and find some answers for the girls, but it will be too late for many there now. But whoever I can help with my little life, I will help, and I will do as much as I can when the time comes for me to return to Rio. Until then, I need a real plan, not just theory, a real plan from Jesus and Him alone!

  • Rio and everything else on my mind

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    I felt like I was living a dream today. Well, part of it was that I didn’t really sleep last night because my mind was running in circles (note to self, don’t check email after midnight if you intend on sleeping). But tudo bom, I slept some, and had an awesome time in Rio today.

    I went up Corcovado to Cristo Redentor. The magazine article that broke my heart for the street kids of Brazil starts with this:

    Jesus stands high over Rio de Janeiro, His arms spread wide. His famous statue atop Corcovado mountain could be welcoming the thousands of tourists who travel to the “Marvelous City” from around the world for her beaches, nightlife and renowned Carnival.

    Or He might be celebrating the growth of His church, hailing the thousands who have become Christians in the last decade or recognizing how the revival that has swept through South America has changed the spiritual landscape of Brazil.

    But He is probably despairing over His little ones who live on the streets and die in the gutters in the shadows of Rio’s clubs and churches. Little ones such as the eight children ages 10 to 17 who were gunned down by a group of military policemen in front of the city’s Candelaria Cathedral in July 1993.

    That article changed my life. It was back to back with an article about Heidi Baker and Moz. I was 13 when I read them, and I just cried and cried and knew that was what I was going to do with my life.

    So here I am. Today. In Rio. Up at the statue, praying and prophesying “There is nothing apart from your love” and “Greater things are yet to come, greater things are still to be done in this city.” This is my first time in Rio, and it will not be my last. I will be back here for longer at some point… I am sure of it.

    After Corcovado, I went up Pao de Açucar, or Sugarloaf Mountain, the infamous mountain with a gondola (teleferico) that goes up to the top. That was beautiful! Absolutely beautiful! But, I had been really hoping I’d see monkeys this time in Brasil, but hadn’t yet and there aren’t any this neighborhood. However, there on the mountain, there were half a dozen of them, and I got to take some really good pictures and videos of them!! That made my day! Oh, that and some açaí on the top of Pao de Açucar. Wonderfulness.

    Then we caught the sun setting at Copacabana beach! It was pretty vacant because its winter here, the water was cold, the sun was setting, and it was the first day of school after winter break here. It was really pretty there, finally got to a beach here in Brasil after being landlocked everywhere else!

    I love Rio!

    But, I will happy to go home, too! I have a few things to look forward to, my birthday, for one, which I am getting myself a new tattoo for my birthday. And the week after that, if all goes well, I will have a really awesome weekend with a really good friend… =)

  • Some interesting statistics

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    I’ve gotten all these facts and stats on brasil thrown at me from talking with people here, so I am checking up on some of them. Sao Paulo has about 11 million people within the city limits. Including the surrounding suburbs (favelas, actually) it has some 17 million people! This is almost 10% of Brasil’s entire population. Brasil’s population is 191,699,000. This makes it the 5th most populous country in the world. Sao Paulo is the largest city in South America.

    Rio de Janeiro has about 11 million people living in the entire metropolitan area (that includes the surrounding favelas, not just the municipality of Rio). It is the 3rd largest metropolitan area in South America. Some 60% of the population is Catholic, and about 13% is protestant. However, here in Sao Gonçalo, some 40% of the people identify themselves as evangelical. However, this is just pretty much evangelical on Sundays, but the rest of the week, they live as the world does and don’t evangelize to other people, and don’t love people outside their four church walls. This is truly a sad thing.

    Compare the size of Brasil to that of Bangladesh… Bangladesh is the 7th most populous country in the world, how crazy is that? 162,221,000 people living there, what a mission field that small country is! One day, one day…

    I rarely ever look at stats, but I’ve heard so many, I had to check them out. This is probably the only thing I will ever write that is all stats!

  • Oh Guys…

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    So I wrote this awhile ago, and meant to post it but nao tinha como, i didn’t have a way to. i found it in my sketch book last nite. Makes sense to post it after a loooong email my sister sent me today even. Que pena that the guys who need to read this most prob won’t, or cant b/c its ingles! Deixo ver…

    A Letter to the Male Gender:
    Please know us girls don’t appreciate it when you are so desperate to get married that you try to make a relationship with every girl that comes your way. Please also know that when you talk about you and a girl in a “we” in any context, she will assume that you intend to marry her. Be careful what you say to girls as many have been badly hurt by men and are looking for affirmation from guys rather than from God. Point your sisters in Christ back to Him.

    If you have any interest in pursuing a relationship with a girl, take her out and say your intentions. If not, don’t take her on dates, it just messes with our heads. If you wish to be only friends with a girl, be sure she knows it and guard your heart and hers against any crazy wedding dreams. Don’t talk about what you would like your wife to be like unless you are dating the girl and you say it to her. Leave that discussion for all male pow-wows.

    There, I said it. Argh. Frustration with male gender on all these things still. Although its frustration with different people. And I wrote this back in May. =P

  • All the Questions we never thought to Ask

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    All the questions we never thought to ask before are coming up as we jump in over our heads, over our heads into this deep river.  The questions that never phased us before are now coming up to the surface as we try to swim but are overtaken by this strong river.  I have no answers, but I can probably reply to your question with another question.

    I’ m in over my head.  No, I clarify that, I have been in over my head for the past nearly 2 months.  I thought I found the answers in Curitiba, but with one answer has come a multitude of other questions.  I might know where I am going to start, but what to start with, how to do it, how to do it alone, how to work with the people there, how to raise support, what to do in the meantime, where to learn portugues, where to get a car and finish learning how to drive it, what visa to get, how to get a visa, how to learn to live such a solitary life with hardly any backbone.  I don’t know how to do it.  I don’t have any answers anymore.

    I was taught in college to find the answers, to ask questions of other people, to find the answers, but when no one has answers anyhow, what use is all that?  I don’ t know how, I don’t know anything anymore.  I’m in over my head and am floating in this incredibly deep river, but its good because the River has a strong and steady current, a path cut out among the trees, but I am helpless against its relentless pull.  I can only lay back and let God move me along in His river.

    And maybe, one day, the answers will come and I will learn how to swim.